The good thing about being in your later teen years and early twenties is this: You don't actually need pot. You're a pot head without it.

Let me explain.

I was listening to Cannonball by Damien Rice and the lyrics hit me as so deep... You know, the lyrics that say "it's not hard to fall when you float like a cannonball."

Yeah. Deep.

Who needs pot when you have spackle, holes in a wall, and have to stare at goldenrod yellow... while listening to "deep" music?

Go ahead, say it. Sweety, it's time to get out of the basement for a while. Put the spackle down and back away from the wall.

People my age are friggin' morons. You know what's funny? It's the first time in my life I've included me in the morons. I'm getting wiser every day.

Now excuse me, spackle is calling.

(Did I mention I have incense burning? No? Well, now I did.)