Wow... So so much has happened. Slice this into two bits.

Part One

Will and I had our second anniversary. (Counting from the day he said he loved me.) And I wish I had done something for him but I didn't. I feel like a really awful girlfriend for that. I didn't even write an entry here for it. Ugh I hate me at times like that.

He's so amazing to me. He's put up with more crap from me than I think anyone, including him, may realize. He's my strength when I'm breaking down and my laughter when I'm crying. He's my everything. Still wonder why on earth he's still with me lol I hope he knows how much I love him. Even with everything that's happened lately, he's all I look forward to. He's my everything.

I love hearing about when he goes out with the guys from work, or how some idiot on the phones made him crazy. I love hearing all the little details and nothings because it's his life and that means so much to me.

The other day he mentioned something I had forgotten I had even told him about when I was a little girl. He remembered this little nothing and brought it back up. I can't even begin to tell you how something so little, was so incredibly sweet to me.

There's a moment, I think, when you realize, it's not a question of whether or not you can live WITH this person anymore... But whether or not you can live WITHOUT them... And I can't live without him. A week goes by where we barely talk and I'm climbing the walls wanting to tell him I love him. Three days go by without hearing his voice and I'm on the brink of tears from missing him so much.

I'm not going to say he's perfect, he has no flaws, he's molded by God's own hands, blah blah blah. He's not perfect. He screws up. He pisses me off. We get into fights. We don't agree on everything. But... But but but... That's life. Oh well. People fight. People don't agree. People screw up. It's human. But it's HOW they fight.... that shows you how low they'll go to win. It's HOW they disagree, that shows you their character. It's WHAT they screw up on, that shows you their values. And it's how they apologize that shows their heart. Even in seeing his worst, and by god he hasn't shielded me from that... I've fallen so much in love with him. True love is defined by loving someone for their flaws. He has the cutest flaws lol (That's a joke lol)

I don't want two more years with him. I want the rest of my life. I don't want a child with him. I want a large family that hopefully have his eyes. I don't want all the things money can buy for us. I do want a home filled with love and trust. I don't want to be with him until he dies. I want it longer.

Somehow I think when you start looking at apartments, wedding rings, and picking out baby names "just to get ideas," you have a devotion to the future. Knowing how loyal we both are, I have a strong feeling this isn't going to be just two more years together, but much longer. It's just a hunch lol

Part Two

My parents announced we're moving... And I already think we've found a house. Sadly it's back in a city I loathed. We lived there three years and still none of our neighbors would talk to us. I hated it there, but this neighborhood seems much better. It would cut our monthly house payments roughly from $2000 to $1400, and because we're going to have to refinance, our payments will go up to almost $3000, we are screwed. Neighborhood sucks too.

Anyway our contract is up by January 1st and we'd like to be moved out by then but obviously we need a place TO move, so my real estate genes are getting a serious work out. So far I've found 95% of the houses we're looking at. My parents haven't looked much at all. Even though we obviously can't afford to stay in this house. My parents scrape up payments as it is. We're definitely NOT well off.

But anyway that's somewhat good news. I'm glad to be out of here honestly. But I'm sad we have to pack, again. Packing is SO painful. Physically and emotionally.

The open house for the home we're excited about is Sunday between 1 o'clock and 4 o'clock. We'll find out all the details then, but taxes, sewer, trash service, square footage, major updates like the railing and appliances, are all good. Doesn't seem to be any surprise payments.

The REAL benefit of the house we're looking at... is it's a geometric house. My mother has always, ALWAYS wanted one. The angles and lines of the house are amazing. With some paint (redoing the very outdated siding) and some landscaping, it'd be an incredible house. And the price is about HALF of the home we're in now. We could very very easily afford it. Prayers and any experience advice on this is very much welcomed. My parents have only had experience with two homes, both of which went poorly, and I just have all the info I've gathered from watching everyone crash and burn. Thankfully that's a lot of information lol

Outside of that... I'm really busy with work and home life. I sometimes feel like I'm holding everything together. Everyone leans on me. Damn it. lol

Okay so um I'll try and give more details later (and maybe finish this layout sometime ::rolls eyes:: )...

Hope everyone is doing well, love and hugs to everyone!