I'm having trouble pleasing my parents again... And the frustration is getting at me again...
Me: okay well you know I still live with them right?
Friend: I do...
Me: a while back I wasn't working so I stayed home
Me: I kept the house amazing clean
Me: I mean sparkling
Me: and my dad complained that I never left
Me: now I have a job and he complains I never contribute at home anymore
Friend: :(
Me: even though I do I just don't do as much as I used to
Me: not by far
Me: but I'll do the dishes and I'll do laundry and I'll vacuum
Friend: Some people are never happy...
Me: I mean just last weekend, I did my parents laundry because I had done mine on my own and none of theirs, my mom was busy so I did it for them
Me: he never notices that
Friend: No, he just wants to complain...
Me: it wouldn't be so bad if he didn't have so much control of my life
Friend: :(
Friend: I am really sorry Lily...
Me: since I still need "permission" to do things like go to NY, I asked my father about me going alone next summer though... he said he was okay with that
Me: they hate me going anywhere on my own
Friend: *Hugs*
Me: I just wish I had enough money to just say screw everyone and leave
Friend: I know how you feel.... But things will get better
Me: yeah... I know everyone, well almost everyone, goes through this...
Me: it's just been getting harder and harder for me to bear over the last few years...
Friend: I do understand...
Me: ::sigh::
And on getting any freedom from them is completely on their terms... They want me to "spread my wings" and do what I want... But they think what I want I'm not "ready for" even though I AM ready. The fact is, THEY aren't ready.
Me: on one hand my parents want me to spread my wings and be on my own
Me: but I have to do it "their" way
Friend: Yes.... That's a very troubling thing....
Friend: They will encourage you to do whatever you what, as long as they want it
Me: exactly...
Me: it's a double edged sword...
Me: I'll end up cut either way it hits me
Friend:
Friend: Either you'll be unhappy because you'll do something you don't want to do.... Or your parents will make you feel guilty about it...
Me: exactly
Friend: *Hugs*
Me: I just want to scream
Me: or cry
Me: can't make up my mind
Me: lol
posted by dreaminglily at
8/27/2006 10:50:00 PM
3 Comments:
((((((((Lily)))))))) Sorry I wasn't around for you to vent to I didn't expect you to be around because you said you'd be busy. Sorry you're going through this. You know how to reach me if you need me.
Oh and PS I have the whole Corrine Bailey Rae cd if you want it LOL I LOVE Her!
Lily; its hard for parents to let their "little" ones grow up and get independent but they need to realize they have to allow you to especially since you are now an adult in the eyes of the law so that you can go out and discover the world and if you make mistakes that they can be there to help you through them. If they don't allow you this or give you the chance it is going to get harder the older you are. But you know that. They just need to figure it out. But I understand both sides as I'm dealing with that myself.
hugs to you
betty
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