Okay. I don't like Star Jones, let's make that clear. I finally went to go look at what she's telling desperate woman across America to do in relationships. And honestly, I'm appalled that this woman thinks she knows a thing about marriage and men. I went through it and the little "workshop quiz" (remind me to erase my memory of that later) the question was:

"Can you change a man?"

I answered no (duh)

"Correct

But you can help him realize the negative behaviors and get him to soften them."

Um ::raises hand:: excuse me? Teacher? Isn't that... CHANGING HIM?!

Okay first off, no one is gonna see what they don't want to see, no matter how much you tell them. If the guy won't realize his flaws, he probably never will, or at least not soon enough for it to do you any good. Second, you can't make anyone change even if they DO realize their flaws. Self improvement is exactly that. SELF. You can point it out all you want, but it's up to that person to do something. You can't save a person from themselves. A delusion many women in my family and circle of friends have. The "savior complex."

The way I would have put the description would be slightly different:

"Correct

You can tell him how screwed up he is, but don't think you can save his sorry ass, because chances are he's never gonna change. Think of it like buying scratch and dent. Only you can't improve it when you get home. Ever."

Yeah. I think that's more direct.

If anyone would like a good laugh at this "expert" here ya go:

Star Jones Workshop