I love kids. Everyone knows this. I have a HUGE soft spot for the little guys. I'm a mother bear too. I'm very protective of children. I like to teach them, I like to get down on the floor or in the dirt or whatever to play with them. I like reading to them, showing them how to love books. I'm a born mother. That's just how I am.
But I met my match. I've met the child I don't know if I can ever like. Her name is Brynne. (Like Brin.) And she's the most rude, obnoxious, hyper, self absorbed, smartass little girl I have ever met. She drives me nuts. I've met the kid one time and I'm already trying to think how I'm going to handle the next meeting, THAT'S how bad this kid is.
Now, I know you're wondering who this girl is, why I'm so worried about it etc... And there's an easy answer. She's now my cousin. This is my aunt's new step-daughter.
We finally got to meet John, my aunt's new husband. The one she ran off to Vegas with. And John had his daughter that day. ::cringe:: Oh that was lovely...
I like John. He seems nice and polite and funny. Hard working man. Intelligent. He has a nice appearance too, clean, well dressed, pale eyes, graying sandy colored hair. Overall good natured demeanor. But his daughter...
Mind you, I've babysat some of the most painfully difficult children you could ever meet. Feet stomping, hand biting, punching, tantrum throwing, little monsters. But I never had a problem with them after about an hour. I don't take that kind of crap from kids, I simply won't, and they'd get that message. But Brynne is family. New family. She's nine and her parents divorced a few years ago. Bitterly. Her mother picked up her and her older brother and took off with another man. She left John a note. He's been fighting for custody ever since. So I'm very confused how to handle this child. She's family. Family makes it much more delicate. I can't just tell her to stop telling people to shut up, to sit down, be still, say thank you, and to stop smacking her gum while telling people how stupid they are. If I did I seriously think my aunt would be a little more than upset with me.
An example of a conversation with her royal pain in the ass:
Brynne's STABBING her fork at the plate. Hard. It's china. The china I got when my grandma died.
"Brynne, you don't need to stab like that, it's not going anywhere. It's lettuce."
She busts up laughing. Okay I'll give her a point in the sense of humor department.
She stabs even harder at the plate. ::growl:: Disobedient and disrespectful. I hate that kind of challenge.
"Brynne, please, stop, you can chip or break the plate that way."
"So?" (Said in a VERY snide voice by the way.)
"So that's the plate I got from my grandmother when she died."
She stops stabbing the plate. Well, she must have SOME decency.
::sigh:: Boy, I have really met my match with this kid.
Do you think it's okay to use duct tape...?
No...?
Damn...
posted by dreaminglily at
1/18/2006 09:24:00 AM
6 Comments:
Lily,
I spent five years working with kids with bipolar disorder and unmedicated, those are some of the most difficult kids one could ever encounter. One day, one of my patients - a 9 year old boy - came into my office with popcorn and proceeded to throw it all over the floor. "Pick it up NOW!" I said. His sweet mother immediately bent over to begin picking it up, but I said, "Thanks, but I asked --- to pick it up." She said, "But he won't do it" and as she bent over to pick up some more, he grabbed her rather substantial rear and proceeded to BITE her, right through her dress! She had teeth marks on her dress! I grabbed him by the hand and said, "You're coming with me!" He protested: "You're not the boss of me!" to which I responded, "When you come to see me, YES I AM. And I won't have that behavior in my office." My point it, when Brynne comes to see you, family or not, certain behavior is expected of her. From what you've said, my guess is that she's lost and angry. I bet she'd love to have an "older sister" to look up to. You can make her your ally, and setting some firm ground rules is a start. She may openly rebel at the limitations, but she'll love you for setting them. There, that's my two cents worth.
XO
Judi
Sounds like a spoiled brat...
http://journals.aol.com/sugar1337/Disobeyingtherulesofconvention/
Oh Lily, she's just testing you and the family. She's trying to see what you guys will do; how you will respond to her; what you will let her get away with. She's probably scared too; wondering what this new wife (mommy) is going to be like, afraid she might not see her dad as much, etc. Put yourself in her shoes, no matter how hard it is and how obnoxious she is. Kill her with kindness. I'm serious. Maybe do something special just the two of you. Let her know what is acceptable behavior and not, but that you will still be her friend at the end of it all. Does this make sense? I know you are compassionate and kind. You can do this!
Oh Lily, she's just testing you and the family. She's trying to see what you guys will do; how you will respond to her; what you will let her get away with. She's probably scared too; wondering what this new wife (mommy) is going to be like, afraid she might not see her dad as much, etc. Put yourself in her shoes, no matter how hard it is and how obnoxious she is. Kill her with kindness. I'm serious. Maybe do something special just the two of you. Let her know what is acceptable behavior and not, but that you will still be her friend at the end of it all. Does this make sense? I know you are compassionate and kind. You can do this!
sorry, I have no idea why my comment was saved twice.....
The kid sounds like a very smart pain in the rear. Emmapeeldallas nailed it right on the head about setting limits. When she understood why the china was important to you, she also stopped that behavior, so she's got some empathy underneat all the yuck. Reach for it when the duct tape isn't calling too strongly.
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