Wednesday, April 2

Little Pleasures

Mom found old fashioned Coke bottles, they're doing it for a limited time, one of their limited edition bottle things.

It's been so long since I had a Coke in a painted glass bottle. It reminded me of when I was little, it was a lot easier to find glass bottles near the border. I think I was about three the first time I saw a vending machine with nothing but glass bottles. It was a HUGE treat to put my change in there, and hear the clinking and clanking as the change and bottle dropped out.

You forget how different it tastes too. When it's in a glass bottle the taste is so much more pure. You forget what aluminum cans and plastic bottles do to the flavor.

When I was little I had an obsession with Coke products. If you saw how much stuff with the Coke label I have packed away you'd think I was nuts.

I find myself thinking a lot about my childhood lately. Missing Texas, the southern twang that my voice remembers as soon as I get far enough south. I miss the honeys, sugars, babies, sweetys that you hear in every day life down there. The yes ma'ams and yes sirs. You know that men hold doors OPEN for women down there? Who'd a thunk. Children listen to their parents and say their prayers at night.

And Mexican food actually resembles Mexican food.

It's been ten years since my feet hit Texan soil. It's been even longer since I saw the Alamo, or the River Walk in San Antonio. I have to dig into my memory to remember the salty smell of the Gulf, and the simple pleasure of hearing Spanish radio blaring out of a rusty car. The taste of homemade tamales and tailgating was a weekend event. Forth of July's spent with a cooler full of pop, beer and watermelon, and my mom's brisket covered in her BBQ sauce. You could listen to country music without anyone looking at you funny. You could hug a stranger and they'd laugh and hug you back rather than turning stiff and looking horrified. You could have boy FRIENDS not just boyfriends. Boys and girls hang out with each other without any expectations. You don't have that hear. There's so much tension between the sexes.

Church was exciting. You could sing and dance and laugh. Jokes weren't sacrilegious. The pastor could kid and people knew he was kidding.

You could be in the sunshine more than three months a year.

I can't tell you how much I miss my roots. Lately I've been thinking about it and just crying. I haven't even been to Oklahoma in years.

I love NY and I want to go there, but every now and then a person needs to go back home. And this isn't my home. This isn't where I'm happy. I told Will we can't stay here that long. Just long enough to get on our feet and run like hell out of here.

My cousin and her boyfriend are moving to AZ to be with my aunt. They're trying to convince my grandma to go too, and I completely agree. She doesn't need to be up here anymore, she doesn't need these bitter cold winters and slipping on ice. She doesn't need to shovel the drive and the walkway and I'm too far away to help her. And I'm the only one that has any time to anymore.

My cousin Matthew is moving south too, either AZ or San Diego, he really loved San Diego.

I'm trying REALLY hard to convince my parents to leave here in five years, to move to AZ or NC near Will's parents, Will said it was beautiful down there. And there's Sonic and my parents really miss Sonic lol And it's not too far to drive to the beach or the mountains on the weekend. There's also trains between there and NY so they could come visit us more often, it wouldn't cost so much. And if Will and I manage the way I think we will, we'll have a two bedroom apt near the city, maybe even in it if we're lucky enough by then.

My mom's shoulder is bad, my dad's knee is always just about to give out. His back hurts too. They hate all this cold. They miss the ocean. And there's no reason they can't do outdoor kitchens and rooms down there. Besides that the NC market is doing much better than MN.

I've really thought about it, and in five years, this house will be worth so much more than they paid for it, if the predictions are even half right. They could sell it and get a great return. The business will be strong by then and they can sell it too. Make their investments so they can retire when they finally want to, if they ever do. Mom wouldn't have to be so financially dependent on my dad. She could have her own money.

I just don't want my parents here either... I know they aren't happy here, but they're stuck here. I'm trying to show them they can get out but they're fighting everything I say and show them. I'm just hoping it's too soon from buying the house for them to see it.

I just want my family home.

1 Comments:

Blogger Lippy said...

I don't think there is anything more unsettling than that feeling of having no true roots, and of being away from home. Maybe your powers of persuasion will work.

3/4/08 6:34 AM  

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