I Guess I'm Dreaming: Broken Heart

Saturday, June 23

How did I do this? How did I screw up so badly? How could I do this? What is wrong with me? I broke his heart, I broke our trust, I destroyed everything our relationship was... For what? For nothing... No gain at all... Finally when I feel so madly in love, I confess to a wrong, feeling safe, hoping, praying he'll forgive me... and I lose it all... I've lost it all... He can't forgive me, and even if he does, he'll never forget. It'll tear us apart eventually, I know that. I've ruined it. I ruined us.

I want to take it back, I want to go back and change things. I fucked up, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I hurt you and I never meant to. I was selfish, I was impulsive...

I threw it all away... for nothing and no one... I wish I could rip out my heart and give it to you...

I've never in my life hurt this badly... I've never in my life made this big of a mistake...

Please... Forgive me...

3 Comments:

emmapeelDallas said...: "Finally when I feel so madly in love, I confess to a wrong, feeling safe, hoping, praying he'll forgive me..."

Lily, I don't know what happened, but...when you love someone, you should feel safe...and as for confessing to a wrong...being human, we ALL make mistakes...again, dunno what you did, and I'm not asking, but...part of loving someone is being able to forgive them, and part of loving yourself is being able to forgive yourself...and it's a rigid person who can't forgive...

J; 23/6/07 10:42 PM
Unknown said...: Awwww honey! We all make mistakes. If there is true love there, forgiveness will come. De; 24/6/07 8:49 AM
Anonymous said...: This is what you said on a survey you wrote about him on your Facts About Dreaming blog:

Will you be with him/her forever?

"I don't see why not... We've made it through a lot already. I think if we can work out as much as we have already, there's no reason we can't make it through other things. Life's not easy, not perfect, not a fairy tale, and I think accepting that has made it easier for us to stay together."

So I STILL Believe THAT! You should too. HE should also!; 24/6/07 1:08 PM

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About Me

Name: dreaminglily

Location: Minnesota, United States

I'm currently 20 years old (as of Nov 22nd, 2007) and working for my parent's business. I answer phones and do paperwork. But that's not who I am. I'm interested in business and specifically real estate and marketing. I haven't gone to college yet but will eventually. I've been with my boyfriend (Will, William) for 3 years last September. He's graduating this spring and will be moving here shortly after where we hope to get a place in the Cities. (I live near the Twin Cities in Minnesota.) I was raised mostly in the south, spent my early childhood in specifically Texas, Oklahoma and Kansas. I was raised on a carnival and I'm not ashamed of it, my parents worked hard and were honest. It opened my eyes to a lot of the world and forced me to grow up. I've lived in a total of 23 states. If you want to know my personality, try reading an entry.