Tuesday, February 21

Teen's and Sex

I found this study from Teenpregnancy.org and I have to admit I found a lot of things surprising. Mostly at how much more informed kids are. It does make me feel better. I have friends who are younger and at that age where they'll form their opinion of what's right and wrong, what they should and shouldn't do. Basically if they'll say yes or not yet.

The one question I found disturbing was this:


Have you had an open and honest
conversation with your parents about
delaying sex and avoiding teen pregnancy?


Teens (All)


  • 63% Yes
  • 37% No



Girls (Ages 12-19)
  • 68% Yes
  • 32% No



Boys (Ages 12-19)
  • 58% Yes
  • 42% No


Source:
http://www.teenpregnancy.org/resources/data/pdf/WOV2004.pdf

The rather large difference in between what parents say to their daughters and what they say to their sons is frankly a little startling. While admittedly girls need to be very aware, in the end it's the boy that is responsible. For one thing 44% of rape victims are under the age of eighteen. And 28% are raped by their boyfriends.

Statistics from:
http://womensissues.about.com/od/rapecrisis/a/rapestats.htm


Now with that knowledge in hand, wouldn't it seem MUCH more logical to make sure that the MALE is just as informed as the female and not only that but is aware of the damage he can cause? Many boys aren't taught the responsibility of sex because the parents aren't communicating it to them. They are however communicating to their daughters that they can be taken advantage of, they are weaker, that men are after sex, and what to do if they choose to do so because boys are taught to pressure girls. Not only that but we're also taught to be after of being raped.

Boys aren't taught that. They're the physically stronger sex and parents don't feel the need to teach them the same things, to teach them to think like the girl.


"The majority of adults (64%) and teens (70% of girls and 53% of boys) believe that teen boys often receive the message that sex and pregnancy are not a 'big deal.'"


Also...


"Most adults (a sobering 79%) and teens overall (63% boys and 67% girls) agree that teen girls often receive the message that attracting boys and looking sexy is one of the most important things teenage girls can do. Over half of young teen girls (56% of those aged 12-19) and seven in ten older girls (74% of those aged 15-19) agreed."



Source:
http://www.teenpregnancy.org/resources/data/pdf/WOV2004.pdf

And last but not least...


"Experts who specifically focus on the number of teens who have sexual intercourse are missing an underreported form of sexual activity that puts teens at risk: oral sex. The teens do not regard such activity as "sex" and often say they are abstinent, research indicates."


Source:
USA Today, Dec. 19 2000 issue, pg 09 D, first paragraph

Isn't that scary? I mean, truly, doesn't it bother you (since I know I have more than a few parents reading this) that your children view sex this way?

Maybe, you know, I'm odd. But I think parents need to just bite the bullet and talk to them. And they need to start young. I knew more about sex by the time I was 16 than my mother. (No, not first hand experience, I'm making the point that kids hear everything now.) Of course my mother and I also have very different views on sex but that's not the point. The point is, if you don't tell your kid, someone else will. Honestly, I'd rather have to swallow hard and tell my kid everything, help her learn, then hear her suddenly give me a definition of chlamydia or talk about oral sex. I'd rather not have it suddenly show up and not be prepared, than preparing myself for a long talk and lots of questions.

Of course, I'm very open about sex. I don't have any issues talking about it, I like learning the psychological and physical effects. I think it's one of the most fascinating things about humans. It's so complex. Probably the reason I take sex to be so serious is for one, my mother raised me to have a desire to be in a marriage first, and if I was going to have sex, to use protection. She did talk to me, but she also made it "out of bounds" so to speak. Sex is "wrong" is what I was taught. Needless to say I no longer hold this viewpoint.

Sex is a gift. It's a blessing between two people. (If you go outside that it's your business lol) I think it's deeply emotional, that it creates a bond. I don't just think it's this and that and it's over. Sex is an amazing part of who we are and it's to be respected. Knowing that kids aren't being taught that like they should really upsets me. It's not something you play with. It's very serious. It can even be deadly.

Well, I think I've ranted enough but running across these studies really got me thinking. Drop some input, I'm curious how much I've annoyed people by now lol

Other links:

Teenage Pregnancy - World Population Awareness
http://www.overpopulation.org/teenpreg.html

Birth Control Comparison Chart from River Clinics
http://www.fwhc.org/birth-control/

American Social Health Association - Learn about STDs/STIs
http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm

3 Comments:

Blogger emmapeelDallas said...

What a great post, Lily! I think sex is one of life's great pleasures, although for me that means between two adults in a committed relationship. I don't care if they're the same gender or not, and I'm not interested in judging if they're not committed to each other, but for me personally, commitment is a must. I talked with all 4 of my kids (2 daughters and 2 sons) about sex from a very early age. I always told them their bodies would be ready for sex long before their heads would be, and therefore it wasn't something to be entered into casually. I also told them it's such a strong drive; that it's like eating, it's that basic for most of us. When Katharine was pregnant and Brenden was waiting on her, hand and foot, one night I told her she needed to take care of him a little. She said, "Mom, are you telling me to have sex with my husband?" I said, "As a matter of fact, I am!" She laughed and went home and told Brenden, and it hasn't hurt my relationship with him, either.

;p

Judi

22/2/06 9:57 PM  
Blogger betty said...

I've talked very openly with my son since age 8 when he told me where babies came from but he had the info wrong so I had to clear it up. I didn't want to have to explain it that young, but didn't want him to be misinformed. I also told him he could come and talk to me at any time and I would always give him an honest answer. I did get caught by surprise when I found out how many middle schoolers in his school were involved with oral sex (not him). We have been very open about it and my feelings about him having one partner and that is the one he is married to. He wants to remain abstinent until then; I can only hope he does.

good entry, Lily.

betty

24/2/06 3:27 PM  
Blogger Nicole said...

I agree with you on that kids need more sex ed...and not just abstinent things...for those programs are proven non-effective. Almost all young adults...I forgot the stat aren't virgins by the time they finish college much less high school. And the age kids are losing their virginity is lowering all the time. However I do think that some people can have sex as just sex without the emotional attachment, but it isn't for most people, and most can't handle it.
http://journals.aol.com/sugar1337/Disobeyingtherulesofconvention/

1/3/06 7:59 PM  

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