Well. It's day two of dad not smoking. He's tense, he's snippy, he's fried. I gave him a hug and told him to calm down lol...

Then I was talking to Dayne. He's a smoker. I told him about dad trying to quit smoking and we got into a talk about that.

He said, "You know, I think my daughter might do that to me soon."

"Well," I sighed, "I've screamed at dad about it before, I've been in tears so..."

"Yeah that's what I'm afraid of."

"Well, I just can't wait for the next few days to be out of the way. Then that snippy attitude will start to go away. Then three weeks and the habit is broken. Three months and the addiction will hopefully be fading."

"Oh, that's how it works?"

"It takes twenty-one days to break a habit."

"Oh I see... It's just you know when I'm out playing music with my friends and we're all buzzing, everyone lights up, and yeah I break down and buy a pack."

"I know, it's hard. Dad usually breaks down after a hard day at work or when he's out with the guys that smoke."


I really want to understand what it feels like for dad. I want to remember that this is a serious addiction. I want to remember that it'll never really go away, not for years. I want to be patient. I want to realize how hard it is for him, no matter how badly he wants to smoke that he has to resist that temptation. I want to be there for him so if he needs to talk he can. I want the people around him, the smokers, the ones who've quit, the ones that never have, to understand he's really trying for this. That this time he's serious. That he's NEVER broken a promise to me. I know that many of these people, the ones that smoke, are parents and I know that they understand MY desire to have my father here with me for many years. I know that they respect MY wishes. I know that some of the people that have the strongest influence on my father, love me too. So I feel the need to ask them, please, help me help him.

I wonder if when your heart wants something so badly, God hears it as a prayer....