I Guess I'm Dreaming: Tell Me Why

Tuesday, June 13

Tell Me Why

Tell me why when the change I've longed for comes, I'm too afraid to move.

Tell me why leaving a place I've grown to hate turns my stomach into knots.

Tell me why I'm nervous of something I know is right beyond all doubt.

Tell me why when I look around and see the things I'm leaving, the things I want to leave, I cling with every fiber of my soul, desperately searching my memories to make sure I'll never forget.

Tell me why when my faith is so strong for those that need to lean on me, inside I'm shaking and frightened.

Tell me why I hurt so bad when this is what I wanted.

Tell me why when I stare at the tacky decorations and the dusty shelves and the piles of paperwork, I already miss it.

Tell me why the frustration this place has brought me turns to nothing but good memories.

Tell me why the past must pass.

Tell me why we keep moving even when we don't want to.

Tell me why fear is engulfing me.

Tell me why I feel so bad.

4 Comments:

Wil said...: Fear. Fear of change. Fear of the unknown. Fear of inadequacy. Fear of insufficiency.

Welcome to the human race, dear. In overcoming fear do we prove we are able to stand above it all.

Good luck. We're all in this together. Ain't none of us getting out alive, either.; 14/6/06 12:18 AM
emmapeelDallas said...: I know you love Will, and I'm certainly impressed with everything I've heard about him and yet...to paraphrase Carly Simon...I'd like to see you be just you first, by yourself...

And having said that, you know I support you in whatever you do, Lily.

XO

Judi; 14/6/06 1:30 PM
E said...: Ditto with Wil and Emmapeeldallas. Love you so much Lilly. You are very special. Contentment and inner peace are not a destination...they come in and out of our lives and that is how we learn to appreciate it when it visits and work to rewelcome it when it steps away. XXOO -E; 14/6/06 5:51 PM
betty said...: Hi Lily, just catching up on your journal. I'm back; silly me, I started another journal. lots of changes happening with us. Are you moving? or is it your parents' business moving? Can't quite figure it out with what I've read.

betty; 15/6/06 12:49 PM

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About Me

Name: dreaminglily

Location: Minnesota, United States

I'm currently 20 years old (as of Nov 22nd, 2007) and working for my parent's business. I answer phones and do paperwork. But that's not who I am. I'm interested in business and specifically real estate and marketing. I haven't gone to college yet but will eventually. I've been with my boyfriend (Will, William) for 3 years last September. He's graduating this spring and will be moving here shortly after where we hope to get a place in the Cities. (I live near the Twin Cities in Minnesota.) I was raised mostly in the south, spent my early childhood in specifically Texas, Oklahoma and Kansas. I was raised on a carnival and I'm not ashamed of it, my parents worked hard and were honest. It opened my eyes to a lot of the world and forced me to grow up. I've lived in a total of 23 states. If you want to know my personality, try reading an entry.