I think I went through a lot of life stages quicker than most people. When I was eight I was going through things most people didn't until they were twice that age at least. When I was thirteen most people thought I was in my early twenties because of how I talked acted and looked, my maturity level was way beyond any of my peers.

I've always been so far above my age group. Honestly, that's always bothered me. I was never a typical kid. When I was little I could debate the meaning of life over my Barbie dolls lol Other kids thought I was weird, the older kids were jealous because adults WANTED to talk about things with me, rather than tolerated it.

Now, though, looking back on all my life, I'm so incredibly grateful for having grown up so much faster. I look at what WOULD have happened to me, and it makes me shiver.

Like, for example, the high school I would have gone to had I chosen to after moving to Minnesota. They're extremely cliquish, your social rank is determined by things I've never cared about although I certainly tried to just to fit in. Girls who are pretty and tall and thin and wear the right labels, do drugs, drink, have cars and get the house for themselves for the weekend, get free rein from their parents, and put out are the most popular socialites. I hate to think what I would have done to fit in, how much of myself I'd have let die just to be "normal."

Being outside of that atmosphere has let me grow so much and so fast. I've always been an introspective person, so having the time and ability to think and discover who I am for myself has been a blessing. My aptitude for reading has of course been a major source of nourishing that growth in me. Reading books on religion, philosophy, politics, business, has all helped develop who I am today.

I know who I am. For the first time I can say that without a hesitation. I am me.

Who am I though?

I'm the young woman, the girl, the quiet one when I'm uncomfortable, and the outgoing one when I'm in my element.

I'm the first one to open the door and the last to go through.

I'm the one that keeps it all inside until I can't take it anymore.

I'm the person that sits in the corner, not because I'm out of place, but because I'd rather watch.

I'm the one that sees the world through a camera lens and a pen and paper.

I'm the one that would love to say I can paint, but doesn't think I'm really all that good, even though I know I am.

I'm the one that writes a paragraph a millions times and throws it away again and again because it's just not right yet.

I'm the one that starts a hundred letters I'll never send.

I'm the one that talks to myself when I do chores because I'm working out an issue.

I'm the one that grabs my dog and dances with him in the living room when no one's looking.

I'm the one that cries at chick flicks and doesn't want anyone to know it.

I'm the one that cries at guy movies and would die if anyone knew that.

I'm the one that reads because I love being in another world. I'm the one that secretly loves cities and detests country.

I'm the one that smiles and plays peek-a-boo with the little girl in the table across from me. I'm the one that hates my feet, but loves shoes.

I'm the one that as many things I hate about my body, I wouldn't change a thing, because I know I'm beautiful.

I'm the one that you'll never forget, even when you want to.

I'm the one that can make or break you, and you'll never even know it.

I'm the one that's stronger than any man, and weaker than any child.

I'm the one that feels through more than my heart, but through my entire being.

I'm the girl you could give your heart to, and I'd never break it, even if I'd want to.

I'm the girl you could give a bullet to, and I'd never shoot.

I'm the one that cries when I think about veal and lamb, and revels in crab legs.

I'm the one that craves to start my own real estate business and live in some beautiful house in the suburbs.

I'm the one that depends on no person to tell me who I am.

I'm the one that depends only on God to lead me.

I'm the one you'd love to spend a day with, because I treat everyone like my best friend, because every person is.

I'm the one that'll make you family before I've known you a week.

I'm the one that will be the first to tell you your loser ex is indeed a loser.

I'm the one that can look a person in the eyes and know exactly who they are before they open their mouth.

I am the one that will never lie.

I'm the one that knows business is business, not emotion.

I'm the one that is no longer ashamed of anything I am.

I'm the mental case, the princess, the darling, the sweetheart, the tender foot, the one with an iron fist, the stubborn mule, the proud one, the vain, the loving, the carefree, the careful, the joyful and the joyless, I'm the black and the white and all the gray points in between.

But most of all, I am me. I am the flaws and the perfection. I wear all of it proudly, for I've found my skin, and I will fight to the death to keep it.

This is me. All my insecurities are my perfections. All of my perfections are nothing but illusions and masked truths. I am pure truth, as seen through smoke and mirrors.